Moderation is gray. I don’t mean it is dull; I mean it is that shading in between the black and white of all or nothing. It is not a pin point or a thin line, but a broad spectrum that bridges the extremes. But does is this spectrum actually benefit us in our everyday lives?
“Of course it is!” I hear you say. “That is why I went for the chicken salad rather than the pizza at lunch, and why I only had one glass of wine last night”. Moderation is the health balance that keeps us fit, sober, and out of gaol.
Or is it?
You see, whilst I whole heartedly support the infinite pursuit of not-quite-enough, I am not convinced that it is necessarily the most profitable way forward. By ‘profitable’ I don’t mean economically – I mean in terms of that whole make-life-a-bit-more-woo-hoo thing.
“Evidence?” you say? Well, obviously a large part of my argument is based upon my own conjecture, but lets have a think through a couple of examples; in fact, lets take the two you mentioned earlier…
So you chose that rubbery chicken salad over the Hawaiian with extra mozzarella. And, this is already after keeping yourself to one glass of Pinot Grigio (although I write this whilst enjoying and highly recommending a fine Argentinean Malbec – a 2008 Gestos if you are interested). You made the right decision didn’t you? You kept well away from the extremes of starvation, abstinence, gluttony, and inebriation. But hang on, what is better – wanting the pizza but buying the salad, or buying the salad because that is what you want? Or having one glass of wine but jealously watching others have a second, or drinking as much as you want but that happens to be just one glass?
Moderation you see, is an exercise in martyrdom. It is waving a flag saying “I have self control and am a Good Person”. It is also an acknowledgement to ones self that you are not getting what you want – a life of moderation is simply the worst of all worlds.
What we should be doing is tempering our actual behaviours. If you have an endless desire for junk food, or a constant craving for gin, then tackle those desires – fight those demons. Put your time, energy and effort into steering your instincts, rather than hiding behind a mask of moderation.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s a very good site you’ve made up here.
Carry on and feel free to visit me at http://www.haukeborow.org
Perhaps we’ll have interesting discussions about personal development!
Hi Hauke – glad you like the site. Thanks for your comment.
Rich
I like the point you make here. Moderation is an example of self-control, but that’s a good thing. Society encourages extremes. That’s why we have so many cases of obesity, debt, alcoholism. It certainly is better to buy the salad because that’s what you actually want, but you’re not going to get to that mindset and temper those indulgent behaviours until you start taking that exercise in Martyrdom and choosing it over the pizza.
Hi James,
I tend to think of moderation as treating the symptoms but not the disease – if I want something, but feel I should restrain myself then, why do I want that thing? What is the deeper desire/need/problem that I should address? I most likely will still need to show moderation and self-control, but by asking this question I get a better understanding of myself, and maybe the opportunity to ‘improve’.
Rich