The two biggest problems with a poor memory are a) the embarrassment it causes and… erm… I’m sure there was a second one. Okay, that was poor, but you know the feeling. That horrible feeling. “What is her name? I only met her last week! Oh no, she’s coming over and I’ll have to introduce her to people… agghhhhh…”.
It can be a real source of stress, embarrassment, and for me more than anything else – frustration. Those nuggets of information, that persons name, what you did last Tuesday, or your department’s sales target this week. You know you know them. They are in there somewhere. Honestly. I know they are. I think it was Steve Wright who said “We all have a photographic memory – some of us just don’t have any film in” – I don’t have any film in. And I’m pretty sure there is some muck on the lens.
So do I have a bunch of tool and techniques to turn you into a memory god? Well, no. And for a very good reason – I have tried many ‘programs’ only to find them either rubbish, or very hard for me to implement. What I offer here are just the things I do to make up for the fact I have a bad memory – to hide the symptoms because I can’t find a cure:
1. Making an Introduction
The first time you meet someone it is far to easy to concentrate on shaking their hand and remembering your own name. Before you know it, you have missed the bit where they told you theirs. Make this your one goal. You must listen to their name. And then use it constantly in conversation with them – you know, the way a bad salesman or a kindergarten teacher does. It is your best and last chance to cling onto this information.
2. Anonymous Friends
And when you inevitably forget their name? It is more than possible to hold conversations with people without using their name. This will either sound blatantly obvious to you, or utterly alien. If the latter then give it a try with some people you already know – you are probably already doing it. Once you consciously know you can do it, then chatting to people whose name you have forgotten is not a problem.
3. Introducing Anonymous Friends
You are chatting to a new contact – you can’t remember her name as she had weird teeth and that distracted you at the crucial moment. All of a sudden an old friend spots you and comes across to say hello. Panic. How do you introduce her without knowing her name? The approach I take is to simply not introduce the two of them – 9 out of 10 times one of them will take it into their own hands and introduce themselves, at which point you apologise for being so lapse and forgetting to do so yourself. Simple. That 1 time 10 when they don’t introduce each other is usually resolved via an embarrassing silence and someone disappearing off never to be seen again.
4. Note, Notes, Notes
As some of you will know, I am a big GTD fan. One of David Allen’s suggestions it to keep notepads everywhere so you can jot down tasks you need to do as soon as they come to mind. I also use these notepads for making a note of every conversation, phone call, or conclusion I come to. Just scribbled notes, but enough so I can remember who I spoke to, what I learnt, and what I agreed to do. I type these up in a Word document so I can search this when a fragment of recollection drifts through my consciousness at a later date. Even my wife thinks this is odd.
5. Be Organised
I would say this wouldn’t I. But it is true – the less places you have to loose things physically, the more chance you have of keeping reminders around you of things you should know.
6. Routine
I am not suggesting you live by some detailed itinerary, but by knowing when you do things, and where you put things because that is when and where it always happens takes at least half the battle away. If you put your car keys in a different place every night, in a week that is 7 different place to forget – if you always leave them by the telephone then you only need to forget this one. This work especially well with where you left your car in a multi-story car park.
7. Embrace not Embarrass
Embrace your forgetfulness! Treat it as much a part of you as your illegible handwriting and bad reverse parking. I know plenty of people who won’t take notes during a meeting as they feel silly doing so (I know a fair few others that that won’t as they believe it makes them look too junior – but that is another story) – I don’t go in to a meeting, a one-to-one chat, or take a phone call without a primed notepad and an blunt pencil. If the situation calls for it I will even say “just going to scribble some notes if that is okay – that way I make sure I don’t end up asking you the same questions again in a weeks time!”.
So does anyone else have any top tips I can pass off as my own work? 
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Good tips! really liked the first one, am going to try that out. Sometimes I just honestly say I have forgotten and apologize if needed. Have you tried that?
Hi Priyanka – I do sometime just say sorry I have forgotten, but then sometimes I just wimp out! Depends on who it is and where you are I suppose.