Everyone has a ‘tic’. Yes, there is a medical interpretation of this but I am not referring too that here (at least not directly). But every one has something by which people remember them by – you know what I mean – the thing you whisper to your colleague in the lift after a meeting.
Let me give you some examples I have heard in the last 3 days:
1. “Jon’s memory is frightening!”
2. “We tell him meetings start 30 minutes before they actually do as he is always late”
3. “Such a flirt…”
4. “Probably the cleverest person I know”
5. “Where is he? Probably playing golf”
6. “Not speaking to her unless I have to”
7. “Better check this is right – she always spots things!”
8. “Nice tattoo – I wonder where else she has one”
9. “Does he have a volume switch?”
10. “Yeah, everyone likes working for him”
Some of them are quite complimentary, and some are down-right horrid. But all are behind the person’s back, and most will never be passed on.
Think about it. In fact, think about someone. What is the first thing that comes to mind? Now do it with someone else. And another person. You see? It is easy and natural, and most of the time you already know the answer because you have thought it before. Or someone has said it to you.
Want to know the frightening thing? You have a tic. You have something that people say “That’s the guy that…” or “You know, the one with the…”. Now do you want INTERESTING thing? You have the ability to change and drive this.
A tic is just the characteristic you happen to display most prominently at any point in time. With most people, there is one or two traits which are usually at the fore, and thus become the foundation of a sweeping generalisation.
But you can change this. I have done a lot of deep coaching/development over the years and my tics and pretty consistent, but rarely are ‘good listener’. I’m not bad at it, and when I coach people this is an important skill, but in general meetings and inter-actions it is not front of mind. However, at a wedding last year I met some people for the first time who later commented to my sister-in-law what a good listener I was. What had changed? Well, I had a really bad hangover and had no desire to talk more than I had to so just asked short questions.
Silly isn’t it. But a small subconscious change, made a big difference to what I was remembered for. But there is nothing stopping you from choosing your tic yourself – in fact it is something you should actively do.
So the next meeting you are going to, decide up front how you want to remembered. Choose your tic, choose your impact.
